Jan
2.0.1.0
Posted in General | No Comments »Hey guys,
How have your Christmas and New Year holidays been? Mine was spent cuddling around in bed and filling my stomach with an assortment of goodies then exercising them away [or so I hope] and meeting up with some friends and watching travel channel and assisting the boyfie in making the messiest but most awesome burgers on this sunny island [and then gobbling them down in record time of course].
I needed a break from life. Oh life.
Again, I have disappeared from the online scene [and offline scene with online friends, but that is another matter for another time] for a bit. Oops, *roll eyes*. It is just that it feels like The End for this place @ liquidblade dot com. I have many great [ha ha] ideas of what I want to put up online, but this place feels too…. stifling? closed up? restrictive? I try to make this place an easy one to read, but sometimes that tangles up with how I truly feel / think. It is this ‘write for yourself’ motto that I believe in which collided with the pressure of writing what other people want to read [ie; non-rubbishy, non-random stuff].
Having a blog is akin to having a relationship. Part of you is invested in it, hell, part of you is it. Before you nag me about how ‘blog /= life’ again, let me say it once more with feeling - my blog may be me, but I am not all that my blog is. That has been my philosophy from day one when I wrote down my scribbles in a private blog many years ago. I have been true in what I have written here, but I have also censored hell lots of happenings and thoughts. Reading my writings enables you to know me, and to un-know me as well. This place isn’t all that I am, alright now say hello to your very own non-anonymous-stranger-online.
BUT.
I cannot pretend I do not care. With each passing day without an entry, I become more conscious of this space sitting in the WWW, waiting for me to fill her up. The more I want to share, the more I withdraw. Do people who publicly blog ’suffer’ from this oxymoron? I had people telling me, pushing me, advising me - do it, go ‘commercial’, push your blog to the forefront of social media. Aim higher, wh*re your blog out, be popular, get advertorials, earn more money with it. It is not difficult to grasp the recipe for that. Time aside, I can do it [to a certain amount of success] but do I want to? For a while, it was tempting - the possibilities of more money, free stuff, clothes, sponsorships; it is easy to get sucked into these things. I thought about having a compromise, but that was tough. I want to remain grounded and true to my style of writing /thoughts, yet a level of masquerading is required to gain more traffic. More traffic, more exposure, hello mum and dad and boss and colleagues. Oh the horror. In wanting to tread on the edges of both sides of the fence, you sometimes end up being nowhere.
Also, again, I have too many ideas on what I want to do with this space, leading to.. nothing done because each style is distinctly different from the other.
These are the few reasons why I have not been blogging much the past couple of months. That, and I had been really busy at work and had no energy to write anything at the end of each day. I am still trying to figure out how to move on from here.
This entry isn’t supposed to turn out this way. Ahem.
So, the new year has arrived. End of 2008, I was dreading 2009 a great deal. It felt like 2009 would be full of gloom and doom and all things dour [which pretty much was inside of me]. Thankfully, I did not have the same foreboding about 2010 so it is all good. For now.
Happy 2010, everyone. =)