Protected: Deer Caught In Headlights
s t a r m | s t June 17th, 2008
- about funnies , the sentimental lover
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Archive for the 'the sentimental lover' Category
A Series of Fortunate Events [I]
s t a r m | s t June 13th, 2008
… and some unfortunate ones.
What craaaazy busy 5 days it has been! I feel almost normal again [not normal being the past few months where I didn't have a social life]!
I was in a holiday mood even before my actual day itself, but had to suppress it because of the amount of work waiting for me to clear. :/
Twas a pity I didn’t have my camera with me the past couple of days. Wonderful moments should be captured and immortalised. Urm, I was too busy enjoying myself half the time to snap anything anyway.
Thought of the Day
s t a r m | s t June 9th, 2008
Personally I don’t believe you can steal one human being from another. You can’t steal people, despite what Josh thinks. People are funny.
They just slip away.
- One For My Baby
Your Pleasure Then, My Pain Now
s t a r m | s t May 24th, 2008
It’s like, it hurts too much to form words.
- the core , the quiet believer , the sentimental lover , the worker
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Heartaches
s t a r m | s t May 7th, 2008
My moods get worse during anniversaries of bad events which significantly alter me/my life.
May is not my month. Never was, never will be. 1st it was 6th May, then 7th May added on.
[May is also the month which Hide of X Japan (of above song) passed away.]
*Pensive*
On My Own
s t a r m | s t May 2nd, 2008
My favourite song from my favourite musical ‘Les Miserables’.
I love him
But every day I’m learning
All my life I’ve only been pretending
Without me his world will go on turning
A world that’s full of happiness
That I have never known.
Silence
s t a r m | s t April 21st, 2008
When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it’s completely silent. You would think as it’s so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it’s silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.
If there is a noise, it’s internal. It screams and noone can hear it but you. It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That’s what it looks like and that’s what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But that’s the thing about love - noone is untouchable. It’s as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it’s silent. You’re just screaming on the inside, and noone can hear it.
The Poison Tree
s t a r m | s t April 21st, 2008
Now that it’s all said and done,
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
Looping it over and over and over.
- the core , the harsh critic , the sentimental lover
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Protected: The Brutal Truth
s t a r m | s t April 20th, 2008
- the barfly , the core , the sentimental lover
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Seasons May Change
s t a r m | s t April 12th, 2008
For Christmas last year, Meimei gave Jerry, Ms Ho and me each a desktop calendar with different themes. Mine was a cheery theme called “It’s a brand new day!” as she knows fully well how pessimistic and sentimental I can get.
Today’s pep-talk on the calendar which sits nicely on my office desk:
No matter how long the Winter, Spring is sure to follow.
- Guinean proverb
The proverb reminds me of the time in Nihon when sister was talking about Haru-me, Takuya’s Haru-Yuko’s Aki connection. In the show Pride, it was mentioned that Takuya was always following behind Yuko because Spring [Haru] comes after Winter [Aki]. When we were in Osaka, sister pointed out the parallel because Haru was always standing behind me on the escalators ‘following behind’, or following around wherever I went.
Hmm, just a random thought.
But I cling on to faith in this one-liner today for another reason.
Yesterday was difficult. Very difficult, thanks to thoughts which transported me back to the past.
Why can’t I forget? What a cruel punishment in exchange for love given.
Someday soon… I’d like to have Spring in my heart once again. Until then, let me be able to bear this unforgiving internal Winter.
