Your Pleasure Then, My Pain Now
s t a r m | s t May 24th, 2008
It’s like, it hurts too much to form words.
- the core , the quiet believer , the sentimental lover , the worker
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Archive for the 'the quiet believer' Category
Can
s t a r m | s t April 11th, 2008
Cried buckets when I watched this, especially 1:30 and 2:56. Taken from JF.
[Following Text is From JD]
A son asked his father, ‘Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?’
The father who, despite having a heart condition, said ‘Yes’.
They went on to complete the marathon together.
Father and son went on to join other marathons, with the father always saying ‘Yes’ to his son’s requests of going through the races together.
One day, the son asked his father, ‘Dad, let’s join the Ironman together’, to which his father said ‘Yes’ to.
For those not in the know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86km) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 km) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 km) marathon along the coast of the Big Island.
Father and son went on to complete the race together.
On Forgiveness
s t a r m | s t February 8th, 2008
Forgiveness is an act of the will, and this will can be exercised regardless of the temperature of the heart.
- Paster Leong
One Litre of Tears
Timeless
s t a r m | s t April 6th, 2007
His love is timeless.
For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son…
We were slightly late for service at Trinity today [thank you Yh & Jms, for rushing us there], so we got ushered into the chapel instead of 4th floor where Meimei, Ad and Ed were at [whew, what a mouthful.].
The play was good, though not as ‘powerful’ as the previous one. But it was alright because what matters was that I wanted to be there and I was there, to thank Him, to celebrate Him, to open up to Him.
It is such a secret place. When [one of] the pastor spoke of how his wife had to enter [delete place name] because she fell seriously ill, something in me turned to ice. It was as if the ice automatically formed to protect that fragile bit which contained a huge torrent of rain. The pastor’s words ran by me blindly, The room was such a cold place. Bare minimals. There was only a bed, a toilet and all the walls were white. and.. all I could think of was you, friend, and how terribly lonely and hopeless you might have felt when you were there. I know I tried to block you out of my mind.. because it was too difficult to deal…
Anyway. I sat there quietly, got all normal emo, and was embarrassed cos Rich Monde was there beside Little Miss Emo-Me. Wonder if he finds it irritating that the emo-ness is there everytime we go for service. =/
His love is timeless.
Sometimes I feel that I’m ready to give my all, yet why is there this small bit of hesitation in me? Could it be.. fear?
Believe
s t a r m | s t April 4th, 2007
God has an amazing way of taking care of His children. I am awed and humbled by His love!
[If you can't stand this kind of stuff, don't read on.]
Through It All
s t a r m | s t August 7th, 2006
Joe [matter-of-factly]: It’s really undescribable. Every time I sing during praise and worship, I’ll cry.
Me [trying not to stare incredulously at him]: Oh. urm. okay.
A couple of days later
Me [tearful]: Is it weird of me to listen to certain songs and start crying?
Jas [serenely]: No, my dear, it is perfectly normal. 
This is a very strange video because there is no video at all, just some.. urm.. micro-organisms and the beautiful song which I want to share with whoever is interested enough to click on it.
My original favourite Christian song. The first time I saw Meredith’s then-bf play the flute solo and heard the entire Church sing it, I fell to my knees [and fell in love with the song].
I know, I know. Not many people have seen me like this. What I’m feeling now scares even me myself.
I… Believe
s t a r m | s t August 6th, 2006
It feels like I am getting closer to Him day by day. Could it be due to Joseph’s words and Jasmine’s music? Or could it be because it is time finally?
Nostalgia
s t a r m | s t August 3rd, 2006
The last time we were met, we were at the in-betweens of our lives. He was 25 going on 26, brimming with youthful ambition and aggressive drive. I was 19 going on 29, struggling to patch pieces of my heart back together, and becoming way too cynical for my own good.
It was a might have been, but it never happened. There may have been a spark, a smouldering undercurrent, but we were both tied down by feelings of the past - he with the lady two years older; me with the man 8 years older - which we made present for ourselves, so him and me, our future was sealed before we even realised it.
Forward to years later. He spotted me in the crowd and waved at an unsuspecting me; we barely recognised each other, yet we did. I wasn’t sure to greet him with a warm old-friend hug or a formal handshake, so settled for an uncertain smile instead. We sat down to chat, but packing so many years into a couple of hours was difficult for us to re-know each other, have we ever really known each other anyway? Not that there weren’t any chances to, for each minute was a chance by itself, but we didn’t make the time. Each day I could have picked up my phone and drop him a message, but I didn’t make the time. Every night he could have replied my mails, wrote a personal one, but he didn’t make the time, so him and me, our future was sealed before we even realised it.
So there we sat, facing each other across the coffee table, the million chances have already passed us by, quietly stolen from us without even the barest hint of whisper. Because we were too lax, we grew up, we got older, we moved on, so him and me, our future was sealed before we even realised it.
Truth or Dare
s t a r m | s t April 14th, 2006
It has never been my style to talk about religion here as it is such a secret place.
Nevertheless, just because I do not talk about it doesn’t mean I do not think about it.
These days I feel so uncertain, being caught between three orientations. Mind over heart, heart over mind. It’s a constant battle. My search for the truth - the hard facts, the black and white - seems futile, yet I continue seeking because I need to.
But something in me is changing, I cannot ignore it. And so I went - I have been going -, and tears ran down my cheeks each time, every time. Because I know that somehow, I believe in Him, I want to welcome Him into my life with open arms, yet… a part of me denies Him.
Tonight I cried so hard. Body bent over, head bowed, hands clasped. Could barely stand. And the lyrics kept repeating in my head.. imagine me without you, I’d be lost and so confused, I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid without you there to see me through…
