the other alternate worlds, i cannot quite remember. only broken shards of the scenes - running desperately from the pursuing shadows but sinking in the quicksand, how the roaring waves rushed up beyond where they were supposed to fade and retreat, suffocating darkness threatening to swallow me in the infinite void, cliffs too high and waters too deep. a push, and i fly, fall fall fall….
then i jolted awake with a start, scaring him in the process. he gathered me in his arms, tightly, and my world felt safe.
Me: Know what? I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that you and my gor Ivan became good friends and you guys dragged me shopping for the stupidest men stuff. Very twilight zone-y.
Cowboy Caleb: Probably unrequited lust. Shopping signifies sex to women.
-____-”
Me: Not everything is about lust! Or maybe it’s linked ‘cos in the dream, I was bored and uninterested. *Whew!* Muahaha. You and Iv really got that whole male-bonding thing down pat though.
Cowboy Caleb: *casually went on to talk about other things because he had no good comebacks*
stories ran through. kids running about. seeing cases, a normal day at work. a special little boy who need more attention that the usual. her speaking to me. room revamping. taking measurements. rock music in dark surroundings. walking on the grass. little hands tugging on mine. the little boy staring up at me expectantly.
then i woke, and for a moment i was at his place, the cold air blowing and him lying beside me breathing lightly. i turned over to reach for him, the illusion dissolved, and my arms have never felt more empty.
There is the niggling worrying feeling in my guts these days which I cannot seem to get rid of. Something is wrong something happened, but I don’t know what.
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Yesterday’s class was tough. I can’t recall the last time I’ve felt and looked so confused in classes. [Well okay, maybe during maths lectures in my college days...]
Nearing the end of the class, the teacher played a video to the class. It was almost entirely in Japanese and we were to try to understand what was being said. When a lady in the video rattled a really long sentence in Japanese at top speed, my mind blanked out halfway into the sentence. I turned to Friend E, intending to ask her for the translation, only to see her aiming both her index fingers past her head repeatedly and muttering “Piiiuuu piiiuu piiuu piiu piuu”, imitating the sounds of Boeing 747s zooming past her. Laughs. Cute. At least I wasn’t alone.
Read this article yesterday and thought to myself, how true what women do sometimes..
Why men should fear women’s dreams
Is it so difficult to differentiate between reality and la la land? I don’t think so.
The former is when you hurl obscenities that will make an Ah Beng blush when you are pinched. The latter happens when you are in bed and wake up only to face drool at the side of the pillow.
Well, you will be amazed. It seems that women have a hard time telling the difference between the two.
A lady friend confessed how she ignored her husband for a week when she dreamt he was having an affair.
Her rationale was that it seemed real and she could not help but feel angry and hurt even though she knows that it all happened in her subconscious.
So I’m on it again, after almost a year of non-activity.
Meimei once surprised me by commenting that I am a very ‘on-the-go’ person [which I totally disagree by the way] because I take up whatever I wish/want to, go wherever my interest[s]/passion[s] brings me to. First it was perc, then bowling, then hockey, then flute, then saxophone, then salsa, then sign lang, then trained up to be a terp, then volunteer and perform, then EDT, then hip hop, yadda yadda yadda.
Jack of all trades, and master of none?
Maybe, maybe not. Prefer to look at it with a glass-half-full perspective and take it that I learned something new each time. Afterall, life’s a journey, don’t you think?
