s t a r m | s t July 4th, 2008
So much of what we live goes on inside -
The diaries of grief, the tongue-tied aches
Of unacknowledged love are no less real
For having passes unsaid. What we conceal
Is always more than what we dare confide.
Think of the letters that we write our de*d.
- Dana Gioia
Haven’t I been here before? The inadequacies, the comparisons, the green-eyed monster the heart stirs, the wondering, the uncertainties, the questions, the thoughts the mind churns out, the past I can never twist, the future I cannot know, the way reality works which I still do not know how to reconcile.
Round and round and now I return to this familiar place.
I am afraid, of what lies ahead due to the past, so tell me how do I —
s t a r m | s t July 4th, 2008
My first plug for a sweet friend!
Pretty babe, right? 
I feel so too.
Sheylara is 1 of the 8 finalists in the Most Entertaining Blog category of the Omy Singapore Blog Awards! Congratulations [ok, a tad premature at the moment]!
Qy’s writings have always been interesting and engaging [her blog's on my daily reads list], how apt it is for her to be nominated for this category! 
Do help her win this award by doing the following:
1) Click here to vote [easy peasy]
2) Click on the “Vote Now” button [also easy peasy]
3) Enter your email and choose a password
4) Fill in the rest of your details such as your age vital stats marital status whether you brush your teeth every day and how many strands of hair you drop per month and click on her picture to vote
This is her on the bottom right hand corner. Please vote for her [and don't get distracted by the others], else The Goonfather will come after you with a parang.
Do this once a day to help increase her votes!
s t a r m | s t July 3rd, 2008
There is a first time for everything.
In all of 5 hours yesterday, I
- saw singledoubletriple during my meetings and kept wanting to tumble off wildly from my seat
- wanted to throw up every time I shakenodturn my head
- felt incredibly dizzygiddyweak
- blacked out for a bit and crashed to the ground [can't really recall howwhatwhy, only remember colleague calling boss, boss!]
- criedtearedbrood because of above incident
- managed to stand up only to sway comically backforthbackforth, and then sit back down abruptly on wherever again
- had the worried boss drive me home
- muttered to boss I want to throw up and My head feels detached from my body about 632814 times on the way back
- stumbletripveered drunkenly into the house, into my room - world still spinning, lay in bed - world still spinning, close my eyes - world still spinning. Felt like I was driftingfloatingflying around
- amused Eliot by my opening greeting of Today the sunset is in shades of pink and peach to which he replied Are you high??!
- made Eliot laugh at me throughout our conversation, bugger it, where’s the sympathy??
- irritated Eliot with my mumblings.. I think. :/
- tried to sleep but it felt as though I was levitating myself off my bed and was afraid I’ll float out of the windows
- mistook my table for my closet [the said furniture are on opposite ends of my room]
- dreamt of monsters
- thought I saw monsters, hallucinations omg
- jackknifed up in fright and almost punched my mum [in reflex] when she tapped me really gently on my shoulder to wake me up
- was supported by mum’s armhandshoulder because she was afraid I’d faint while walking from room to kitchen
Guess why?
Because I took… *drum roll*… painkillers. Jang jang jang!
Yes, anti-climatic, I know.
The painkillers were prescribed by a doctor for a pain which has been recurring for the past month. 2 pills and 4 hours later, I felt like I was on drugs [not medicine-drug but like, cannabis-marijuana-drug (not that I've taken any before)], or reallyreallyreally high on alcohol. Of course, it didn’t occur to me to make that link [drugs and drinks] til Eliot pointed it out with You sound so stoned and I think you’re very high and then repeated them every few minutes to drive into my head that I was insane not of sound mind not behaving very normally.
What kinda painkillers are these, d*mmit?!
And the reason for this entry to be under ‘about funnies’ is because, thinking back, the 5 hours have really been quite comical ['cept for the blacking out part]. Or maybe my sense of humour is dark and morbid.
Or maybe I’m still insane. *giggle giggle*
Still feel like throwing up here hello.
