Truth or Dare
It has never been my style to talk about religion here as it is such a secret place.
Nevertheless, just because I do not talk about it doesn’t mean I do not think about it.
These days I feel so uncertain, being caught between three orientations. Mind over heart, heart over mind. It’s a constant battle. My search for the truth - the hard facts, the black and white - seems futile, yet I continue seeking because I need to.
But something in me is changing, I cannot ignore it. And so I went - I have been going -, and tears ran down my cheeks each time, every time. Because I know that somehow, I believe in Him, I want to welcome Him into my life with open arms, yet… a part of me denies Him.
Tonight I cried so hard. Body bent over, head bowed, hands clasped. Could barely stand. And the lyrics kept repeating in my head.. imagine me without you, I’d be lost and so confused, I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid without you there to see me through…
- the quiet believer
s t a r m | s t April 14th, 2006
