Empty Shell
s t a r m | s t October 30th, 2005
I tell myself to try, but am I really trying? Everytime I find myself giving up, do I have zero faith in me?
Archive for October, 2005
Alphabets
s t a r m | s t October 28th, 2005
There are some really cute people around.Making us guess the flavour of the sweet she brought back from Sydney.Sher: There are two flavours in it!Charlie: Papaya and mandarin orange?Sher: Half-correct! It’s not papaya.Charlie: It tastes a bit like grapefruit.Me: Give us a clue? Please?Sher: Well, the other flavour starts with ‘P’, it’s a fruit.RootBeer [skeptical look]: What, pumpkin?Sher: No.Me: Peach??Sher: No!Charlie: Pineapple?!Rootbeer: Pomegranate???Me: Pear!Sher: No, no, no, no, no! [smugly] I think you guys should just give up, you will never guess it.After ten minutes. In the lecture room.Me [persistent]: So what is it? I cannot think of anything else. Are you sure it’s a fruit?Rootbeer: Yeah, pineapple? [In walks MD] Hey MD, do you know of any fruit names starting with ‘P’?MD: Hmm? Pineapple? Papaya? Plum?Me [excited]: Plum! Is it plum?Sher: No, it’s not!Short, acute silence with puzzled frowns exchanged all around.Rootbeer [desperately]: Sher, you cannot do this. You got to tell us, otherwise we will not be able to concentrate on the lecture.After the two-hour lecture. Rootbeer [looking troubled]: I still cannot guess what it is.Me [half-giving up]: Is it pom-pom?Sher: No! I don’t think that is even a fruit, right?Rootbeer: Are you sure it’s a fruit? Did you see correctly?Sher [checking the cover of the sweet wrapper]: OH NO!!!Rootbeer and Me: What?? What?!?Sher: It’s actually grapefruit, I thought it was pomelo. Sorry, I saw wrongly!
Tricks or Treats
s t a r m | s t October 25th, 2005
[Edited for clarity]
Friend H: We have to pay $28 [to go into Zouk]! But if we dress up and it is good, we can go in for free.
Me: Huh. But how are we supposed to find costumes to dress up in such short notice?
Friend H: Easy for you actually…
Me: ?
Friend H: You can find a long sleeved white dress and act as Sadako. You got such long hair.
Me: Thanks.
Friend I: Hey B, I know just about the easiest thing to do if you want to go for any Halloween party.
Me: I don’t supposed you have anything constructive to say?
Friend I: You could do a no-show, and ‘go’ as Invisible Woman. Wahahaha…
Me: That’s not even remotely funny!
Breathe
The stars are beautiful, because of a flower that cannot be seen
s t a r m | s t October 16th, 2005
‘The stars men follow have different meanings. For some people - travellers - the stars are guides. For others they are merely little lights in the sky. For others still - the scientists - they are problems to be solved. For my businessman they meant gold. But for all these people, the stars are silent. For you, the stars will be as they are for no one else.’
‘What are you trying to say?’
‘At night, when you look up at the sky, since I shall be living on a star, and since I shall be laughing on a star, for you it will be as if all the stars are laughing. You alone will have stars that can laugh!
And when you have got over your loss (for we always do), you’ll be happy to have known me. You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And sometimes you will open your window - just like that, for the sake of opening it - and your friends will be amazed to see you laughing as you look up at the sky. Then you’ll say to them: “Yes, it’s the stars; they always make me laugh!”‘
- The Little Prince
Mime Signing
s t a r m | s t October 15th, 2005
This is darn freaking funny, especially the ‘there’s just so many things that I can’t touch’ part. I think it’s a combination of mime and ASL, do crank up the volume and laugh yourself silly. Courtesy of yahwee.
Dance, Dance, Dance
s t a r m | s t October 14th, 2005
I think I am getting old.
Every Thursday, I will return home with an aching body and a pair of sore feet. Fridays will see me grimacing in pain - pain brought over from the night before. I think my back is dying too.
The power of dance classes.
[Digress, digress, digress. I woke up this morning to an entire house of bright lights, feeling totally disoriented and wondering if I had accidentally got up later than usual. My first words of the day were a very grumpy ‘I am so tired, I don’t wanna go anywhere’ little-girl sulk which came out louder than expected, causing Dad to burst out laughing. “Nobody wants to,” he grinned, ruffling my hair like how he used to when I was younger. Ahh, a sweet father-daughter moment.]
I had big plans for tonight. [Riiiiiiiiigggghhhtt.] I thought I could head down to town to do a wee bit of retail therapy after meeting them, buy my dancey shoes, and then stop over at Ikea to get mirrors [Need the mirrors or I’ll never get my dancey moves right].
At 6.30pm, I cancelled on the shopping.
At 7pm, I decided to take a raincheck on my dance shoes.
At 7.40pm, I found myself heading straight home without my mirrors.
And here I am, home alone on a Friday night. Such is the life of a no-lifer, an old no-lifer. This is so sad, it is!
Truths, Lies and Dares
s t a r m | s t October 12th, 2005
Was that a star or a satellite?
I’m not sure, because everything’s a blur to me.
In other news, blogs are interesting platforms. You know a person, you read a blog, you read comments by people, and a few words - just one or two words even - lead to important revelations. Of course, it takes a bit of shrewd deduction [it’s a matter of putting two and two together actually], but I am smart [enough] to catch certain words. Just because I do not bother pointing things out doesn’t mean I don’t know. So, yeah.
It’s all or nothing. But there is something there, so there cannot be anything. So I guess it’s nothing, which means something.
je te deteste.
From A to Z
s t a r m | s t October 9th, 2005
It is night and I am alone.
I ponder over the things you have said this afternoon, and I think I finally understand.
Perhaps I have not been totally fair. To accuse you of deceit, of wanting, of cheating emotions. Perhaps you really mean what you have been telling me all these while; you believe it to be true, and you never once felt there was anything wrong with the way things have been. But what you hold right and true for yourself, I can never do the same for me because within my framework of life, there lies a totally different set of values and beliefs.
I was wrong because I expected things from you that you have never given before and do not think you have to give now. You were wrong because I tried to fit you into my framework. I see it now and you have taught me that life is not all black and white, but in many different shades of grey.
You and I, we have been searching and searching, and we have been filled with want. But we seek different things and we move around in different worlds, worlds of darkness both, but separate worlds nonetheless.
We met at a crossroad where I could give you what you want, and you provided what I needed most. Time passes and we now reach a place where both of us want so much more. And because of the different things we desire, there is no more mid-point for us to meet like there once used to be. Instead, it is this more that drive us apart and widen the chasm, and, most importantly, make me realise just how different we are and how there can never be anything at all.
You are not wrong for wanting what you want, and I am not in the wrong for needing what I need, but there are things which cannot be reconciled and it is just our luck that this be one of them.
I will remember you and, despite everything, I am truly glad that I met you. Will you feel the same way about me?
It is ok, you do not have to do anything, you do not have to speak of leaving again. Do not think, do not feel. Everything will be ok, if you believe it to be true.
Past
s t a r m | s t October 9th, 2005
Had we but world enough, and time.
Realisations, regrets, remembrance.
