Dead Alive
One may think my resolve is strong and firm, but it is not. In my mind, I have played and replayed illusions over and over again. In my dreams, I have surrendered a thousand times. It has been so difficult, so tiring, to keep fighting. and there have been so many times when I have wanted to give in, to wave the white flag. then I remind myself of the ignorant other, and it is only fear and guardedness that is keeping me alive but unhappy.
- the core
s t a r m | s t September 30th, 2005
