s t a r m | s t June 19th, 2005
Do not stare at me and try to ascertain my moods, you will not succeed. Do not probe incessantly, I will not reveal. Do not look at me with longing in your eyes, I can’t reciprocate the feelings. Do not let your eyes linger at me over your wineglass, I feel uncomfortable. Do not pretend you know my thoughts, because you don’t and you won’t. Do not ask so many questions about him, it is such a secret place. Do not keep appearing in front of me in all pretend friendliness, you are the one I do not wish to see. Do not touch me like that, it makes my skin crawl. Do not keep slapping my arm, it is badly and obviously injured. Do not act as if you understand me, there’s more to me than just this. Do not lie to me, because there is no reason for you to. Do not play games with me, because I don’t want to play.
How happy is the blameless Vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.
s t a r m | s t June 18th, 2005
This rage.
Few have seen me this furious before. I can count, on one hand, the number of people who have ever heard me shout or scream. And I so feel like shouting now. Boiling blood, angry tears.
Don’t you think this is just too much.
I want it back, no matter what. I WANT IT BACK!!
s t a r m | s t June 18th, 2005
He cried because he was diagnosed with a growth, possibly a cancerous one. His nose was red and his cheeks were wet with tears. His voice trembled and broke several times as he spoke to someone over his handphone in hokkien. A minute later, he hung up and visibly tried to pull himself together. With clumsy hands, he wiped his tears away, put on his big pair of glasses and struggled to his feet, the walking stick as his aid. A shudder ran through his entire being. And as the old man limped away slowly, I found myself staring helplessly at his defeated figure, shaken and close to tears. I didn’t have any words of comfort that I could offer him.
s t a r m | s t June 16th, 2005
Overheard while having coffee at Starbucks:Girl 1: … and then we frenched.Girl 2: But.. but how can you kiss someone whom you do not like like that??Girl 1: Ahh… I closed my eyes mah!
s t a r m | s t June 16th, 2005
Places I do not dare to go
T plaza Great world city Griller Crystal Jade Gramaphone Takashimaya Redhill Raffles place Wheelock place City link Town Anywhere outside Jurong.
Songs that remind me of you
Almost here It must have been love The blower’s daughter Full of Grace Life Uncommon For the love of a princess Need to be next to you Every song in that folder.
Books and authors
Mill on the floss One for my baby Memoirs of a geisha Grimms fairy tales Haruki Murakami V S Naipaul Chinese wu xia books Any book you have mentioned before.
Words which I link with you
Mac Powerbook Liverpool Cards Hmph Books Law the other half Xtomic Right Boy Mama Raffles Volunteer Man of your word Love Future Laughs Every single word you have spoken before.
I remembered the fox: you run the risk of a few tears when you allow yourself to be tamed…
s t a r m | s t June 14th, 2005
It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
I get it now, after so long (hey, you can’t blame me. I only just got the book today).
Happy Birthday, Le Petit Prince~
In other news, Kenny the funny man outdid himself in his latest entry.
s t a r m | s t June 13th, 2005
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
Life taught me to die
While you were sleeping, did you hear me call out your name in longing and tears?
s t a r m | s t June 12th, 2005
It doesn’t matter, because the truth is still the truth.
Like people say, you can run but you can’t hide.
s t a r m | s t June 10th, 2005
He has touched my heart and changed my world, like nobody ever had.
And that’s why it made all the difference.
s t a r m | s t June 9th, 2005
Good Friends Part 1
Receiving a call from a strange number
Me: Hello?
Stranger 1 (nasal voice): Hi, is this J?
Me: Yes? Who is this?
Stranger 1: Err, I don’t think you know me, but I was hoping we could be friends.
Me (trying to be polite): Urm.. How did you get my handphone number?
Stranger 1: Oh, I saw you at Liat Towers two days ago with xxx, and I got your name and number from him when you went to buy coffee. Can we talk for a while?
Me (lying blatantly): Actually I’m in a rush now.
Stranger 1: It’s ok then, maybe I can give you my email address and we can keep in contact online?
Me (sighing inwardly): Alright.
Stranger 1: Take it down ok? N.
Me (scribbling for the sake of it): Uh huh…
Stranger 1: I.
Me: Uh huh…
Stranger 1: V.
Me: Alvin, you idiot.
Good Friends Part 2
Calling back a strange number
Me: Hi, this is J, I missed a call from this number earlier in the morning.
Stranger 2 (sounding troubled): J? Missed call? Ohhh..
Me (waiting patiently): ?
Stranger 2 (full of professionalism): Well, we are calling from Singapore Casket. Did you order a coffin with us?
Me (taken aback): Err, no…. I didn’t.
Stranger 2: O-kay. Would you like to place an order with us? What type of coffin would you like? Would you prefer wood, or metal, or diamond, or..?
Me (*suspicious* trying to figure out a way to hang up politely asap but drawing a blank): Uhhh….
*pause*
Stranger 2: It’s Rossman here lah!
Good Friends Part 3
People who don’t know my real name
Me: Hello, Jerry?
Jq (groggily): Hello?
Me: J here.
Jq: *long pause* Huh? Who?
Me (said with an air of resignation): Xb (a nickname some people have given me) here.
Jq (finally getting it): Ohhhh… Hey, what’s up? Don’t use J lah. Xb say xb.
Me: …
Good Friends Part 4
Picking up a call from the house phone
Me: Hello?
Mr Er: Hello, may I speak to Xb please?
*pause*
Mr Er: Sorry, I mean, may I speak to J please?
