plus qu’hier moins que demain

s t a r m | s t May 31st, 2005

here are some stuff off the top of my head, though what is truly important to me are things that money can’t buy.

Vouchers from
BordersMetroMphosisFcukIsetanTangsFuturestateIoraCharles&KeithURS
Stuff like
butterscotchschnappsfromautraliared&blacknokia7270bioskinbella
facialstheentireworksfanclmakeupralphlaurenparfumsbagsbagsbags
ibookorbetterstillpowerbookipodremotecontrolyanagisawaaltosax
Friends for
mahjongclubbingsalsafrenchchurchartlessonsandforbeingfriends
Yearnings
peacewithinoneselfhappinessmeaninginlifehealingstable&fulfillingcareer
moneycontributingbacktosocietynomorelonelinessandemptinessnomore
angerandbitternessreturnedfaithtostartbelievingagainforthetearstostop
forthepaintoceaselovethecontinualpatience&carefromfriends&family
and
You, to love me wholeheartedly again.

• about birthdays , the core
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s t a r m | s t May 29th, 2005

For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.

• the core , the sentimental lover
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s t a r m | s t May 27th, 2005

I chanced upon this beautiful piece of work by Lord Byron many many years back when I was so into the Sweet Valley High/University series. One of the books contained the poem - Jessica Wakefield recited it at a poetry recital and it reminded her of her ex-husband, Mike (wow, I can still remember). I read it, I fell in love with it, and it has since stayed with me.

Nothing much to it. Just that the words have been repeating in my mind for the past hour for some strange reason and I thought I’ll share it here.

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow-
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame;
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o’er me-
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:-
Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met-
In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?-
With silence and tears.

• the core , the intellectual nerd , the quoter , the sentimental lover
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s t a r m | s t May 26th, 2005

Event: MPH Book Sale (Public - Free Admission)
Where: Expo Hall 6B
When: 28-May-05 to 29-May-05 (Sat & Sun)
Start Time: 09:00
End Time : 21:00
Show Profile: MPH DISTRIBUTORS is the largest Importer and Distributor of English Language Books in Singapore. More than 300,000 books of various subjects selling at between 30 to 80% discounts.

• the intellectual nerd
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s t a r m | s t May 25th, 2005

Dark is the night, and cold is the wind that is blowing,
Nearer and nearer comes the breakers’ roar;
Where shall I go, or whither fly for refuge?
Hide me till the storm is o’er.

Night time is the time where people are at their weakest and most vulnerable.
Or it is the mornings when one has just woken up only to feel all that he doesn’t want to feel?

Is that a theory, a hypo or what.

I don’t know, I just feel so.

• the core , the sentimental lover
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s t a r m | s t May 24th, 2005

Is it really so easy for you?

• the core , the harsh critic , the sentimental lover
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s t a r m | s t May 22nd, 2005

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life.
Now I’m bound by the life you’ve left behind
Your face, it haunts
My once pleasant dreams.
Your voice, it chased away
All the sanity in me.

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase.

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along.

• the quoter , the sentimental lover
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s t a r m | s t May 21st, 2005

Tell me how to forget you, because I can’t.
Tell me how you could have done what you did, because I don’t understand.
Tell me why you have moved on so quickly, because I thought you better than this.
Tell me how I can stop feeling this way, because I still care.
Tell me, how could I not mean anything at all now, is letting go so easy for you?
Tell me how to rid myself of this agony, because it’s killing me.

Tell me how to stop loving you, because I still do.

• the core , the sentimental lover
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s t a r m | s t May 20th, 2005

I sat alone in my prison,
surrounded, overwhelmed, drowned in the memories of us.
There was no need to look at our pictures, or the video I did for you, the pieces of paper with your writing, or the cards which you gave me.
Because I remembered you with my mind and heart.

I closed my eyes, and then
through the haze of painful tears
I saw you.
In the darkness, you stepped out
right in front of me.

You,
Surrounded by a light so white
it blinded me, yet it did not hurt.
Eyes met, a pause, and then you smiled
a smile so tender, so gentle, so affectionate,
A smile so soft, it warmed my heart,
A smile which spoke a thousand words.

Slowly your hand rose, it reached out for me,
Your fingers uncurled, dancing in the light.
You stood so close; I could feel your warmth
Your familiar scent engulfed us in an invisible circle,
Unbreakable, untouchable.

I stared, unable to believe.
My hand rose to meet yours
Hesitatingly, but longingly.
Fingertips to fingertips,
so near, so close, almost touching
But

A tingle, a shimmer, a blurry wave.
Within a second, you dissolved into nothingness.
no sound, no disturbance, no nothing.
The light was gone, you were gone,
and all that is left is darkness.

I weeped, shattered.

• the core , the sentimental lover
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s t a r m | s t May 19th, 2005

Every dawn she wakes up because of the sadness and pain
and can never go back to sleep again.

Why, such is love’s transgression.
Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,
Which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest
With more of thine: this love that thou hast shown
Doth add more grief to too much of mine own.
Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes;
Being vex’d a sea nourish’d with lovers’ tears:
What is it else? a madness most discreet,
A choking gall and a preserving sweet.

• the core , the quoter , the sentimental lover
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