Archive for October, 2004

Believe

s t a r m | s t October 25th, 2004

Since many people around me have been feeling down and out recently, I thought I’ll just share this inspiring song (?) with you guys..

Have you ever you ever reached a rainbow’s end
And did you find your pot of gold
Ever catch a shooting star
And tell me how high did you soar
Ever felt like you were dreaming
Just to find that you’re awake
And the magic that surrounds you
Will lift you up and guide you on your way
I can see it in the stars across the sky
Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before
Now I finally realize
You see I’ve waited all my life for this moment to arrive
And finally
yeah I believe in the impossible
If I reach deep within my heart
Overcome any obstacle
Won’t let this dream fall apart
See I strive to be the very best
Shine my light for all to see
Cause anything is possible
When you believe yeah

Out of My Mind

s t a r m | s t October 24th, 2004

Four more days to my first paper,

And stress is building up.

So expect lesser entries here,

Wish me the best of luck~

Wherefore Art Thou

s t a r m | s t October 21st, 2004

I haven’t been blogging lately. Why?

Because I have nothing interesting to blog up. How sad. Apart from studying for exams (at home, in school, in NUS with Yahwee [and accidentally killing the tulip I was to give her] ), I have no social life to speak of.

I want to go bowling, I want to meet up with old friends, I want to fly kites at Marina South, I want to chill at coffee joints, I want to paint, I want to spend time with him, I want to read novels, I want to shop and shop with infinite amount of cash (as if it would ever happen), I want to volunteer.

But I can’t, not now when I am on my last and most important lap.

Name the Names

s t a r m | s t October 15th, 2004

On the subject of names while on the way home with the other half:-

Him: How does Ivan introduce himself? Hi, I’m Ivan Errrr…. (paused) People will be like ‘Errr, what?’

Me: ……

Him (excitedly): And guess what he should name his kids! Fast!

Me (befuddled): Huh??

Him: Hi! My name is Fast Er.

Me: haha, that’s a really good one.

Him (getting into the spirit of things all by himself): Smart-er! Sexy-er! Slow-er!

Me (interrupting him): Erm….. Shhh..

And the killer line:-

Him (proudly): When I buy a house next time, I shall name it ‘IgLoo‘.

–No malicious intent or harm was meant at the above said person–

Reality Check

s t a r m | s t October 14th, 2004

A great food-for-thought entry written by the other half’s friend, Gz.

Just twenty minutes ago on the way home, this girl in the bus queue caught my eye. Tall, svelte and with sleek hair, despite her plain uniform and trainers.

Later up on board, I found myself in a seat beside her (not on purpose, that was the only seat left) and as I sat down, her bad body odor shot straight into my brain.

It felt disappointing initially - but then il faut me demande: what did that disappoint? It could not have been a legitimate expectation of her, unlike a close someone who has done something stupid. Secondly, was it something one would really care about? Thirdly, why be disappointed at all?

I just got the headphones out and this construct in my brain just evaporated.

How do people react to new persons in their lives?

Impressions mean a lot to most - I find this difficult to deny. Take the example of the students you see in the library: one looks at what he wears, how he sits and how he looks like and conclude - “hmm, cute”, or whatever. And this not being limited to strangers. The people you see in lectures, for example as well. Whatever one knows of him, or has heard or seen of him — all control one’s invisible hand which paints their sub-conscious mental portraits.

That’s when they become so wonderful to know. Depending on how attractive the picture is, one gets feelings of exhileration to different degrees which arrive when this mental portrait is filled with depth. It’s all good while it lasts.

Well, until it lasts - because as the real person enters our lives displacing the initial constructs, the real value of the person takes over. That is also when impressions stop counting and the art of friendship takes over.

When the real person is more beautiful than the construct, we applaud ourselves on meeting such good people. When the real person is just little different from the construct, we still can handle it.

What happens, I find, is that people rationalise their sub-consciousness. We alter the expectations to a comfortable level. We then deal with this reality and then decide how to proceed from here.

Hopefully ‘one’ and the real person end up being friends.

But how then, if the real thing is not anything like the artificial construct?

Does one feel disappointed? Or lose the exhiliration?

We often hear complaints of how people are disappointing when you really get to know them.

When we hear something that person says which we don’t agree with, we’ll just “know he’d say something like that”.

And then, we don’t give the art of friendship the chance to take over. The disparity between reality and construct shocking one into quasi-consciousness, making one think “Maybe I don’t really want to know him too well.”

But is it their fault that they disappoint you? That when they are compared with your construct you painted in your mind, they are found wanting?

These people don’t piss people off, they just fall short and are found wanting whenever you call upon. How do you deal with them? - them not deserving hate, but as the reasoning seems to show, not deserving much love too.

Swirling

s t a r m | s t October 12th, 2004

Has it always been so difficult? She wondered.

Hasn’t she gone through much tougher times than this? Isn’t she stronger for the count?

What will tomorrow bring?

Moody

s t a r m | s t October 11th, 2004

No me ames, para asi olvidarte de tus dias grises, quiero que ames solo por amarme.

Please

s t a r m | s t October 10th, 2004

I, too, am lost. And blind. And this sense of helplessness, of not knowing what to do, it’s fogging up my surroundings. I look around me. It’s all greyness. And beyond? There is no light. I see nobody. Am I in the wrong path? Am I walking in circles? Is there a right path to go? Every step is new. Dangerous. Do I dare move? Should I take a step forward? Or should I wait in this mist for now? Will one wrong step send everything spiraling down? So many questions. Infinite possibilities. I know naught of where to move either, I am afraid. Very afraid. Because there is so much to lose. And everything is so precious to me. So very precious. But I’m persisting, I’m searching.

 

For your shadow.

 

For a touch.

 

For your hand to hold.

 

Can we guide each other to the light?

Colour My World

s t a r m | s t October 9th, 2004

HASH(0x8aca76c)

You are purple. What a romantic person you are. You’re sentimental and forward-looking (those are opposites). You’re sophisticated and refined — with a refine taste for chocolates and wine (yum…). Tempermental and moody, you let people know when you’re angry. But other times, you just sit and sulk. Alone. When around people, you’re a generous person with insatiable needs. You’re a starving artist basically. You enjoy getting into debates over politics and religion with people of the same intelligence as you. But you know they can never convince you otherwise, you stubborn person, you. As the unique person you are (not to mention just a tad bit eccentric), you’re well-liked by either a few people, or too many people.

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate–with pics!)brought to you by Quizilla

In Sleep He Sang To Me

s t a r m | s t October 8th, 2004

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s famous musical, The Phantom Of The Opera, will be screening in the movies this December!!! How cool is that??

From the musical

phantom

Christine and Raoul

christine

The (not-so-mysterious-looking-here) Phantom

the phantom

Masquerade, paper faces on parade

masquerade

I have high expectations for this movie, Joel Schumacher, please do not disappoint me! Now for Les Miserables the Movie Musical…

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